SHIT-TZU : USA President Donald Trump continues to amass a truly unbelievable collection of impressive prizes. He already holds the Nobel Peace Prize, the coveted FIFA World Peace Prize and the 2017 Bankruptcy of the Year Prize. He shows no signs of slowing down, other than cognitively, with the announcement that even Iran are going to give him a special gong.
”He’s made America great again!” a White House insider screamed at our Washington correspondent, while nimbly displaying the Trump admin’s depthless talent for multi-tasking, as she was shoving spaniel puppies into a pot of boiling water at the same time.
”No American President before Mr Trump has ever been awarded the Strategic Genius Award by the satanic state of Iran.”
Indeed that claim is almost certainly true.
”The remaining leadership of I-ran is blown away by Mr Trump’s shoot from the hip style of war fighting. Those idiots spent decades planning to defeat America and look at them now? A laughing stock. It’s so funny Mr Trump is asking all of our allies and friends to come and see these losers for themselves. They never stood a chance. It’s only right they celebrate his greatness. It’s a sign that we’ve won.”
The award ceremony itself is said to be planned soon on a sun drenched little island in the Strait of Hormuz perfumed with the intoxicating smell of burning petrochemicals.
”They’re inviting US forces on to Kharg island. They couldn’t be more abject in their complete and utter humiliation and defeat.”
Although it’s thought unlikely Mr Trump will be present in person to receive the physical result of his strategic genius.
”That’s because he’s a Christian leader,” the insider affirmed, “and his generosity of spirit means he would much rather hundreds, or maybe even thousands, of young American men and women bite that bullet, or drone, or missile for him.”