LETTUCE PRAY AND BE THANKFUL: The long overdue return of the UK’s Prodigal Daughter has finally happened. The once and future Queen of the Pork Markets will lead the UK out of its darkest hour.
The plethora of new parties is very confusing. Reform, Reclaim, Restore… it’s a short step from Recycle, Rejoin, Rejoice. In this way, the fracturing Right could inadvertently become Socialists Reborn.
But what’s in a name? A discredited ex-Prime Minister by any other party would smell as foul. Rehash is possibly a case of going back to basics with all of Truss’s superbly successful policies. Alternately, it sounds suspiciously like a cover for Zack Polanski to further his agenda of making everyone smoke weed by 2030.
So what are the groundbreaking policies that Norfolk the Queenbreaker is putting forward? There is no mention of vegetable matter in her manifesto, sadly. Neither salad nor illegal substances make an appearance. In fact, there is no manifesto in her manifesto.
“Policy? I invented policy, the best policy, I don’t want to talk about it, but I invented it all on my own, but I won’t mention it, they gave me an award for that, the best award, and I stopped the war in the Falklands and everywhere else, and the FT is up to fifty million points, I did that, nothing to do with Rachel Reeves, not a nice person, a traitor, she should be in jail, I don’t even know how she got the job, the system is corrupt, DRAIN THE SWAMP!” Truss said at a press conference earlier today.
Meanwhile the White House was hunting for Donald Trump’s speech writer, in case the Orange Embarrassment started speaking off the cuff again.
The new party will lead the UK out of its darkest hour into an even darker one. Rehash is rehashing US policies without any guardrails. Come on, Liz! ICE ICE baby!