As the dying days of October approach, the thoughts of the nation seek comfort in an extra hour in bed this weekend. Except for our friends in the Reform Party. They heard the phrase ‘Clocks Go Back’, and launched into full campaign mode.
It is as if they will latch onto anything to distract from their growing number of failures. Reform do not want us to focus on losing the Caerphilly by-election. They do not want to know that many of their fresh-faced local councillors have no idea how to do local politics. They want us to look away from the increasing number of party members who have been outed as fraudsters or abusers.
In this context, the rallying cry of Clocks Go Back is manna from Heaven.
Disgraced Home Affairs spokesman “Union” Jack Bunting explains.
“Clocks Go Back this weekend, and Reform will make it happen, not like the weak woke wonks in power,” he declared on his social media echo chamber today. “Not on Hour Watch! Illegals must leave here now, and go back to Clockistan, or wherever the hell they come from. It’s Time to get tough. No Second chances. Hour country, Hour rules!”
Hickory dickory dock.
But it didn’t stop there. Many fellow patriots chimed in.
“the clock struck one thats dicustin ill strike you mate”
“Big Ben? Ben Laden more like. GET THEM OUT!”
“We dont want international time we dont want european time we want INGLISH time like what we would of had when BRITIAN was great and was the biggest empire Clocks Go Back”
“Clocks Go Back! CLOCKS! GO! BACK!”
Tick, tock.
Time is running out for Reform, but Nigel Farage, always eager to jump on a Second Hand bandwagon, has pledged to Stop The Clocks for good.
Or, far more likely, to turn them back to 1933.