ONE HAND DIRTYING THE OTHER HAND : Great news today for Great Britain’s great battalions of long term sick with the announcement of yet another grate government initiative to deal with them.
Later today the UK Government is set to announce a raft of changes to the way banks are regulated in the country to revive the golden era of casino banking, but the cherry on top will be a reset of expectations of the country’s unwell.
“It’s not just about the super wealthy doing their part to capitalise on the UK’s isolation and desperation post Brexit. It’s not just about pretending that billions aren’t lost every year in tax dodging, or that tech giants should actually pay to support the populations they harvest data for profit from, or that the one legged, single mother with shingles is the real drain on the country’s coffers. No. Sick people have a job to do too,” Barfby Barfing MP, Undersecretary of State for Being a Bastard, will tell the country’s woke unwell, “and that job is not just keeping the NHS busy.”
It has long been understood that for too long many unwell people have seen being too sick to work as a lifestyle choice.
“That ends today. Petty complaints like, no one will hire me because I’m sick, or I can’t make it through the day without vomiting are going in the bin. Our biggest services sector needs you!”
In particular the initiative appears aimed at capitalising on the new law and order regime being brought in globally by the Trump regime.
“Financial crime is back bigger than ever and we’re not going to miss out on it,” Barfby will declare. “You see these people supposedly too sick to work in our communities. They blame years of neglect of the NHS. A mismanaged pandemic. And other things. But are their clothes clean? Yes. Everyday. It follows logically they know how to launder. So they can get to work in the only sector not dependent on negotiating over fish with the bloody French.”