X MARKS THE PRAT : FANTASTIC NEWS FOR OWNERS OF SWASTICARS TODAY with the announcement Tesla CEO Elon Musty has issued an Executive Order rebranding the flagging EV maker as a letter of the alphabet.
The decision to make the change via Executive Order is thought to be a nod to the current USA President, Donald Trump, who is singlehandedly attempting to remake the USA along contemporary Russian lines, without bothering to do it legally.
“I”m Xtastic,” A Mark, who recently leased a Tesla, told LCD Views. “I was a little bit worried that people might see me driving Xcitedly down the road and decide I was either a XXXXing sucker or a XXXXing nazi. But now that I’m driving an X everything will be A O K. Which is three more letters of the alphabet!”
Whether or not the rebranding will work to stiffen X (former Tesla) and improve limp returns we will have to wait and see, but hopes are high among a growing number of keen observers that Tesla will soon be exactly like X (formerly Twitter – when it was useful).
“I’m hoping for more than just a badge rebrand though,” A Mark continues. “Now old Musty has called us a letter, just like his social media platform, I want it to be exactly like X. The next time I get into my car it better be full of porn, crypto and fash bots flashing their tits, make believe currencies and screaming obscenities and racist conspiracy theories at me or I’m going to feel shortchanged. Oh, and I expect it to be resprayed too with paint that’s resistant to dog poo smears.”