THREE WORD WISDOMS : Downing Street has been on the back foot in the polling for months now, with many speculating that the dire polling will lead to world beating PM Rishi Sunak delaying the next GE as long as passible.
”It’s about focusing on the people’s priorities,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “No one wants to risk missing a GP appointment they’ve waited months for just to vote. Under our FPTP system most of the votes are a waste of time anyway. Never mind the fact that if you forget your ID you won’t be able to vote, and you’ve missed the GP! We’re just trying to look after the hardworking British taxpayer.”
The slogan is certainly memorable and follows on from such wonders of government as “Get Brexit Done” and “Stop The Boats”.
But while rent a gobshites at the Telegraph and Spectator are sure to pen endless articles telling people that voting has had its day, not everyone is convinced.
”Are slogans a system of government,” one random man told LCD Views, “or just a convenient distraction away from the fact that the only thing they ever seem to achieve is personal enrichment off our hard work?”
He’s clearly a lunatic, so we won’t be talking to him again.
”Stop The Votes is Churchillian,” the Downing Street spokesman continues. “GE’s were not held during WW2. Churchill’s government focused on the people’s priorities then too. Stop the boats was exactly what it was all about. Then it was U-Boats. Now it’s rubber dinghies containing former British Army interpreters we chose to abandon to the Taliban. The same thing.”
It’s not entirely clear what parliament, the courts or the King will think about the decision to cancel the next GE. But then, all sorts of batshit fascist stuff has been happening at an accelerating rate for years and no-one has really bothered to step in. So potentially it’ll just be business as usual in Brexitannia…