THE TANGY SMELL OF SOVEREIGNTY : FURY IN 10 DOWNING STREET today after the TYRANNICAL EUROCRATS IN BRUSSELS took aim at ONE OF BRITAIN’S GREATEST ACHIEVEMENTS.
The latest stink rising over relations between the SOVEREIGN UNITED KINGDOM and the FAILING, UNDEMOCRATIC SUPERSTATE is wafting up from an update to EU navigational maps.
“It just shows how they’ve still not resigned themselves to the British peoples’ democratic decision following the advice of a criminally corrupted, advisory referendum to make Nigel Farage’s fever dream reality,” a 10 Downing Street spokesman told LCD Views.
“Things will never improve for the European Union until they accept that we have left and bought ourselves a sports car. It’s just embarrassing how they follow around after us in that beaten up old station wagon with the kids screaming in the back. Have some self-respect.”
But responding to the even handed and self controlled criticism from the INVENTOR OF DEMOCRACY the EU were typically peevish.
“As far as we can discern you’ve used your sovereignty to fill the seas around your country with raw sewage. That’s the sum total of your achievements? Frankly it stinks. A little perfume centred joke on our part is the least of your concerns. Not to mention your attitude to refugees, which frankly stinks too, and that’s an understatement.”
It’s unclear yet what measures Downing Street will take over the latest cynical OUTRAGE from the Continent, but it’s believed the Home Office is drawing up plans to extend British sewage pipes all the way to France.
“That will show them who is boss,” the Downing Street spokesman chuckled, “when Nigel Farage moves his portaloo from our beaches onto the ones at Calais the EU will really know what they’ve lost.”
In the interim however the government will require mapmakers in the UK to update their charts to reflect the latest RED TAPE FROM BRUSSELS.
“English Chanel is like English Champagne,” the spokesman added, “who needs Europe?”