REAL POLITICAL PARTIES DON’T LOOK BACK AT EXPLOSIONS : The UK’s governing Conservative and Unionist Party have been given a bit of welcome advice today, as they struggle to deal with the consequences of what they’ve done to themselves.
“You lost get over it!” is being shouted at the Cons by reality, but they’re not in a rush to get the message. In fact, they’re in a death roll with reality with many believing if they can just hold off a GE for long enough it will all come good.
“We can still come through,” a party member told LCD Views, as they warmed their hands over the bin fire that their Party now is. “Stand back a bit. You don’t want to get burned. Why are those opposition MPs coming over here with marshmallows on sticks?”
Happily for the beleaguered Tories they can see the problem.
“It’s our habit of choosing idiots to lead us,” the member admitted, “although we can’t just go and change the latest idiot for another again, as that will be like admitting we elected an idiot. I guess we’re all stuck with things as they are. If we just keep our heads down everything will magically get better.”
It’s true the Party is not completely without hope.
“We’ve got Hunt running the show now. You know him? Newsreaders can’t pronounce his name. Everyone is speculating that he’s been playing a long game to run the party. He waited out Johnson and now he’s back. And now he’s effectively in control. PM in all but name. That’s really clever.”
Intentional or not, how clever it is to take over the helm just as the entire ship of state has capsized and is rapidly sinking is a question for others to wonder over. We think it just underscores that he is also an idiot.
“We just have to believe in magic and it will be alright. We believed in magic with austerity and then with Brexit. We can believe in magic with Truss now. In a fight between reality and magic I know which side I’m on.”
The losing side. Oh well. Never mind.