COMETH THE HOUR : The United Kingdom’s greatest living, former Prime Minister, David Cameron, is reportedly “sick to the back teeth” with the mess his successors are making of the robust, fiscally stable and socially coherent country he voluntarily left in their keeping.
“Dave is furious,” an insider in the Shepherd’s Hut Shed told LCD Views.
“You recall when he left office to buy a garden shed that cost the average, annual salary? You remember back then? 2016. Late 2016 when he was photographed on the steps of the shed as part of a rebrand? When he was moving on in life as a lobbyist for Greensill or something. Some green outfit anyway. All above board. Perfectly natural next move for a man without a blemish to his name. The country was united and buzzing with potential.”
It was certainly a golden era. Brexit was there as Mr Cameron’s legacy. To be made into anything the right and left ends of the horseshoe wanted.
“Now look at it! It’s like someone took Miliband, Corbyn, Starmer, the other Miliband and Mao and put them in a blender and poured the genetic smoothie out into a human mould, baked it at 180 until the top was crunchy and made the resulting mess PM! The policy platform is insane. Somebody has to restore the Conservative Party’s reputation for sound, fiscal management. You know, like with austerity, so the working poor paid for the mistakes of the bankers.”
It seems Dave “boy wonder” Cameron believes he is the man to do it.
“The problem with Trussonomics is that it rips the mask off. It unveils the face of death. You’re not supposed to state the Conservative Party is solely now the preserve of kleptofascists. The right wing press has spent years conditioning people whose opinions are valued by business, and for what? Just for an honest statement of our real economics to ruin it all?”
The source is clearly disgusted.
“You’re supposed to achieve the aim by incremental policy changes sold to the public by useful idiots and paid stooges in the media. Not just say we’re eating your fucking kidneys for breakfast and we’ll be back for your lungs for lunch. It’s madness! Accusing people on welfare benefits of being curtain twitchers and scroungers. That’s how you do it. Dave will sort it out.”
Vote for Dave.