LUCKY BREAK : Lord Philby Feelbottom is said to be feeling “mightily relieved” today after an unexpected brush with the law, which he escaped. Lord Feelbottom has been editing the august newspaper, The Times, since The Restoration period and has rarely been in danger of being taken to The Tower. That all changed yesterday.
It seems that while incapacitated by a breakfast of ‘Failed State – done over easy’ the Editor mistakenly allowed a factual story embarrassing the Prime Minister and his former mistress, now wife (location uncertain – subject to unsubstantiated social media rumours) to make it into his newspaper.
The story appears to concern Mr Johnson’s efforts while Foreign Secretary to give his mistress at the time, now wife, a plum civil service job she wasn’t qualified for with a salary of approximately £100K. £100K is of course chicken feed and no one should worry about that, just ask Ms Arcuri.
Quite how the current Mrs Johnson is dealing with being treated like Ms Arcuri is anyone’s guess, perhaps she could ask the woman who was Mr Johnson’s wife when they began their affair?
How The Times believed it could get away with publicly, factually reporting another of the endless Johnson scandals is anyone’s guess. Perhaps ask Lord Feelbottom.
The charge Lord Feelbottom escaped by withdrawing the Foreign Office story is said to be covered by a new law titled ‘Embarrassing the Office of the Prime Minister’, inspired by similar laws in other autocracies that pretend to be democracies. The so called ‘independent media’ in those autocracies behave in similar ways to how The Times has.
Clearly the person most at risk of being charged under this law is the Prime Minister himself! Who never misses an opportunity to embarrass himself. Not that it matters, he governs a party entirely devoid of backbone which is happy to watch us all sink ever deeper into the mire of scandal and corruption so long as they enjoy fleeting power and the chance of personal enrichment. The country be damned.
They say it is not possible to go back in time and change history, it is if you’re The Times!