THE TASTE OF SOVEREIGNTY : THE PRIME MINISTER is said to be replete with ideas about hunger today and ready to “strike a blow” at the burgeoning food bank sector.
Concern over the growth of the industry, which just gives food to lazy people, has been growing within Downing Street for “some time”, with especial concern on how to convince people to travel hundreds of miles from home to pick GREAT BRITISH crops, if they’re getting subsistence meals “at the end of their street”.
The coming Jubilee celebrations have provided fresh impetus though and a way to “square the circle” of being one of the wealthiest nations on earth but with a baffling problem of in-work poverty and not enough people to even harvest the food we grow ourselves. Reclassifying flags as food brings it all together and removes any barriers to greatness that stand in the way of our fully independent, sovereign nation.
“Sovereignty is food for the soul and that’s all that really matters in terms of sustenance,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “Simply by reclassifying Union Flags as food we can kill two birds with one stone.”
A range of recipes will be released over the coming week and Britons will be encouraged to forage in their streets and cul-de-sacs for flags to eat.
“No child need go hungry when bunting is just hanging on every fence and gate post of this proud nation,” the source explained. “Take your children with you and get all you need for a square meal. Why not settle down and read about Rishi Sunak featuring in the Sunday Times Rich List while you dine?”