YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO : No one can forget the wonderful conga lines of the 2020 VE Day celebrations as the novel virus weaved its way through the UK’s cities, towns and villages. Global Britons got out the bunting and thumbed their noses at the basic reality of how a virus spreads, encouraged by their government.
“We showed the world who we were that day and we’ve not stopped since,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “We didn’t even have a vaccine then but we weren’t letting the prospect of tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths stop us having a party! And this year we’re going to show the world again what is important to us.”
While many had expected May 8th to be a sombre and reflective day this year, what with war raging in the east of Europe, 10 Downing Street is thought to be minded to use the day to really “own the libs”.
“What an opportunity to get partygate off the headlines,” the source enthuses. “And what an opportunity to make sure that everyone on Earth can see that access to refuge in the UK is very much colour coded. You can’t get more Brexit than that.”
It’s believed the ‘Go Home Vans’ that announced Theresa May’s principles as she took control of the Home Office, will be given a bit of “spit and polish” and refitted with images of desperate people in the English Channel.
“It’ll be a story board style public declaration as the vans tour the country,” the source explains. “The first van will show images of refugees from WW2. The second Nigel Farage’s famous ‘Breaking Point’ poster and after that it’ll be people in the English Channel going straight into camps far, far away. Once they’re out of sight, they’re out of mind. At least that is what we hope will happen. It doesn’t really matter what happens to them, just so long as the screaming void in Priti Patel’s soul is fed each and every day.”
The Prime Minister is expected to drive the first van because “fetishising WW2 is what he does”, even if his every act as PM shows he learned none of the lessons of that horrible conflict.
“Mr Johnson sees himself as the Pied Piper of refugees. He’s really enthusiastic about it. Their potential to excite his supporters is an opportunity too good to miss and should help push Partygate far away from the headlines.”