GET THE HINT : A British man has been judged slowest ever to get the hint that the party is over.
The individual concerned is said to be “shabby in habits and character” and determined to outstay his welcome to a degree determined as “world beating”.
It is believed numerous individuals have attempted to drop increasingly unsubtle hints that the party is over. The failure to get through has even led to the police being called in the hope he’ll stop blathering on and bugger off.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” an eyewitness told LCD Views. “It could not be clearer he’s outstayed his welcome and he needs to leave, but he just pretends not to notice and keeps ordering more booze delivered.”
The party the “burning haystack of humanity” is understood to be at is located at a plush central London address recently redecorated at great expense without “any discernible taste”.
“We’re going to have to ramp up our efforts to get through to the self-centred sod that is idea of a good time is his alone,” the witness confirms. “It’s hard to see how much clearer we can be. We may have to hire a fat lady to sing as old hat references and sayings appear to be the only things he understands.”
When asked who is footing the bill for the festivities we were advised, “Everyone. The whole country. It’s becoming bloody tedious. I’ve never seen someone so unable to understand it’s time to fuck off in my whole life. The music stopped long ago but he’s just standing there with a traffic cone on his head talking about Shakespeare.”