ALL IT TAKES IS A FOOL : GREAT NEWS TODAY FOR ANXIOUS BRITS with the confirmation that even Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has written to the 1922 Committee to express no confidence in Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
The decision to replace the bloated sack of bollocks as Prime Minister is not surprising, nor is the timing, with the Tory Party changing its underwear with increasing frequency due to the increasing speed with which they fill up with scat. But who could possibly want to live in 10 Downing Street with that wallpaper is another question?
“There’s no doubt there’s plenty of idiots in the Party who’d like a shot at being PM,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “It’s just choosing the right one. I mean they are going to have to be so pig ignorant it’s almost impossible to measure. Just think of the mess they will be inheriting?”
Some in the party are rumoured to think it’s time to bow out of government for a while and count their money and simply let a coalition government of “woke lefties” repair the damage before resuming the culture war and taking office again.
“Unfortunately the idiots who want to replace Johnson will be having none of that. Each of them so convinced of their own genius.”
Liz Truss is a hot favourite with the bookies. Dominic Raab is a hot favourite with Dominic Raab. Priti Patel is thought to be Satan’s choice as he seeks a more direct method of command, rather than just via the Home Office. But it will be down to the membership to decide, which is the essence of British democracy in action.
“Most of the membership is incredibly stupid so they can be relied upon to pick the right candidate,” the source adds, “I mean a group of people dumb enough to believe Johnson was going to be a world beating PM will deliver again.”
Punters anxious over what comes next are advised to take it easy as no one will have the weird Trumpian magic that Johnson had with so much of the electorate.
“We’re just going to have to fall further but be entertained by the spectacle of anyone prize idiot Boris thought safe to have in his team tries to carry on where he left off. Let’s hope there’s no popcorn trade war! We’re going to need a large stock of it!”