LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL: With Westminster rocked by corruption scandals, and many further allegations flying around, it’s time to Take Back Control. The most-investigated Prime Minister ever, Boris Johnson, has vowed to take full personal responsibility for standing up for high standards and decency.
There is only one small problem with this. Johnson, apparently, has absolutely no idea what the expression “take full personal responsibility” means.
This has never stopped him promising it, though. For example, despite the PM’s promise to take full personal responsibility for the UK’s pandemic response, we have a world beating death rate per capita. This responsibility for Brexit talks and Brexit job losses has not remotely been matched by any action. His full personal responsibility for Air Bridges for overseas holidaymakers is matched only to his commitment to the Garden Bridge, the Contract Bridge, the Bridge Over Troubled Water and Andrew Bridgen.
So the news that he is to take full personal responsibility for fighting corruption is to be welcomed in the same way that Johnson welcomes another trip to the STI clinic or a detox session. On his watch, we know that (for example) one company was contracted to buy PPE at an inflated price. When this proved to be unusable, it was simply stored – causing a shortage of shipping containers – and the same company charges £1m per day in storage charges. So no corruption there. Absolutely nothing to see.
And surely this is only the tip of the iceberg. Only this week we have seen Johnson’s desperate attempts to change the rules on corruption and accountability so that they do not apply to him. If that’s not taking full personal responsibility, then I don’t know what is.
But we may rest assured. With the Prime Minister in charge of marking his own plagiarised homework, what could possibly go wrong?
The megabucks stop here.