CAKE AND EAT IT : Downing Street is reported to be on a WAR FOOTING today after the TYRANNICAL EU told U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson that he will not be allowed to take HIS TURN as EU council president.
“The current presidency of the EU is held by Germany, Slovenia and some other place,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “We all know it operates as a trio since the imposition of the Lisbon tyranny. It chairs meetings and other boring stuff and tries to all get along. Brexit shouldn’t mean the U.K. is no longer involved. We’ve left the EU. We haven’t left Europe. It’s just punishing us for Brexit.”
No lesser powerhouse than Lord Frost is expected to demand the U.K. still takes its turns with the Presidency and any other outcome will be unacceptable. It’s believed he will call on the ghost of past politicians to reinforce the British claim to control Europe.
“The EU is playing with fire by blocking U.K. involvement in its ruling structures,” the source goes on. “It just shows they don’t understand Brexit and have not yet reconciled themselves to it. If they don’t watch out we will force all EU truck drivers to take the Life in the U.K. test before being issued temporary visas to work in the U.K. We hold all the cards and Brussels knows it!”
How the EU will respond to Downing Street’s reasonable request to chair its governing structures is not yet clear, but Downing Street are confident that carrying on like a madman will get it concessions. Brexit shouldn’t mean loss of access for the U.K. as “we are too big a market for German carmakers.”
“Look what we’ve achieved so far?” the source comments. “Everyone is talking about Boris and that is exactly the way he likes it. We will have our hake and eat it.”
The source later clarified their comment to “cake and eat it” because for some curious reason everyone is now wary of eating hake from sovereign British waters.