FREE SPEECH : WHATSAPP’S CRASH yesterday caused the entire system of governance of the United Kingdom to grind to a halt for several hours as a tech team was dispatched to California to turn the internet off and on again, much like that episode of South Park.
The impact was felt directly in the UK as Whatsapp has replaced the Houses of Parliament as the main chamber of government and for networking, exchanging gossip and keeping everyone’s spirits up as they trash the country.
“It was horrifying,” Tory Tory MP told LCD Views. “The hatter of second cousin twice removed had Whatsapp’d a killer meme about drowning refugees just before the crash into my local church group and I couldn’t share it to my local parliamentary group. It was heart breaking. For a moment I felt like I was facing a crushing cut to my pay while watching an inheritance millionaire Chancellor smugly celebrate his shocking rise up the greasy ladder.”
The backlog of unsent racist and sexist memes is expected to clear throughout the day now that the servers which crashed have been resurrected by tech magic (our tech correspondent is on holidays, we can’t explain it).
“It will actually be a bit of win in the end,” Tory Tory MP told LCD Views. “As we’re all at Conference together for a weeklong laugh at poor people we can just show each other the memes on our phones. Then when the texts arrive we get to laugh about it all again. Which will be nice with canapes and bubbles at lunch.”
Whatsapp? Whatsdown.