SOWING AND NOT REAPING : Turkeys who voted for Brexmas have hit back today over concerns they may not be on the menu this Christmas.
“We want to be killed, plucked, stuffed, eaten and complained about well into January! WE VOTED FOR THIS.” a spokesbird for the turkeys told LCD Views. “Bloody PINGDEMIC IS GOING TO RUIN CHRISTMAS. I didn’t vote for this!”
But in spite of what the tasty birds did vote for it seems concerns over the supply of food into the United Kingdom may mean they may miss out on their annual feast day.
“And to make matters worse they’re saying the FRENCH MAY EAT US?! THIS IS A DISC RACE!”
There is some hope on the horizon though with Downing Street set to strip away any regulations at all that make anyone safe, in order to appear to be making a success of Brexit.
“Last year Boris had to save Christmas from the decisions made by Boris in the pandemic,” the Turkeys raged. “IT WAS A NEAR RUN THING. This year? Bloody EU! We voted in 2019 to GET CHRISTMAS DONE and we meant ALL CHRISTMASES. NOT JUST THE ONE’S BEFORE BREXIT. GOBBLE! GOBBLE!”
Responding to the concerns from the turkeys the government issued this statement : “We have listened to the concerns of the turkeys who voted for Christmas and we will be raising their taxes. Rest assured that no one in the government is going to go without this December. We have the inherited wealth to pay for it.”
The new reality of Brexit Britain, where personal wealth will determine standing of living more and more should give some measure of comfort to the turkeys who voted for it.
“It is aspirational,” the spokesbird agreed. “Just think if I choose a better accident of birth next time around I could be the one feeding off the turkeys and not the main meal. I’ll work harder to achieve that. Just like old Boris.”