THEY ALL FLOAT DOWN HERE : The House of Commons has “bowed to media pressure” and will be providing the daily, live link to the ceaseless debate in the Commons over the “level of citizens it’s acceptable to lose to an infectious disease that can be controlled with basic measures”.
Pressure on 10 Downing Street to televise the hours of detailed, sober and scientifically based discussion over strategies for minimalising the spread of the lethal virus has been growing within the Conservative Parliamentary Party and from the Official Opposition.
“We didn’t just have some endless culture war over masks and then pursue herd immunity via natural infection, regardless of the avoidable loss, because we’ve all got private health care,” one Tory MP told LCD Views.
“We need to calibrate the response to the disease to ensure the right balance between personal freedoms and eradicating those in our communities in time for Priti Patel to try half of you for thought crime. To do anything else would be like some bargain basement autocracy that doesn’t care if ordinary people die avoidably, so long as those who survive can be gas lit into continuing to support the supreme leader, and indulge his craven need to feel powerful. In fact to do anything else would be to open yourself up to the accusation you’re an irresponsible government, internationally irresponsible with it, and the plebs just got lucky the boffins came up with those jabs in time or you’d all be having us go medieval on your arse.”
The livestream will be shown on terrestrial TV as well as digital channels to ensure maximum accessibility.
“My golly goodness!” the MP added, “can you imagine the loss daily to families if we’d just become used to old Boris ruling like a tyrant with powers he’s completely unsuitable to hold because we had to get Brexit done? It’d be carnage.”