SOWING AND NOT REAPING : Fantastic news today for British voters worried about the sinking standards in public life with the release of the exhaustive list of MPs willing to take responsibility for the calamity that is Brexit.
“It’s not just Brexiters, famous Lexiters were also asked to step up to the plate, given that their plans were almost indistinguishable from Brexiters, just spun as more cuddly,” a Westminster correspondent told LCD Views. “And their validation of the concept of departure from Europe was, and remains, as batshit crazy as the Brexiters. Just more confusing, given all the rights membership conferred on people just because they were people. And not because of their bank balances.”
It’s understood no less a man than Prime Minister Boris Johnson decided to compile the list after the news finally reported some negative blowback from the campaign he championed, and not just the news in Europe.
“Mr Johnson was the first to hold the blank paper in his hand and think about signing it,” the correspondent continues, “before passing it along to the next MP.”
The aim of the list is to promote the idea of salary sacrifice among MPs to help towards the increasing costs of hiring HGV drivers.
“Basically it’s about wealth redistribution from the people who stuffed up the country to the people who somehow have to cope with that. You can guarantee the Brexiters won’t know how to fix what they’ve broken. They didn’t know what it was they were breaking in the first place.”
The list will be published on all major news sources so Brits can see MPs set up to the plate in meaningful ways and attempt to make amends for the calamity they’ve delivered.
“It’s an oven ready list,” the correspondent confirms, “may as well just set fire to the paper now and be done with it.”