RIDE ‘EM IN RIDE ‘EM OUT : Fantastic news for heavy goods vehicle drivers in the United Kingdom today with the release of a new study by the world famous Institute For Self-Administered Injuries.
“The Institute has studied the HGV driver crisis in the United Kingdom and made some exciting projections,” Professor Robert Cat told LCD Views. “If you like spending long days stuck in traffic on the country’s smart motorways being a HGV driver is only going to get more rewarding.”
The big bucks do appear to be coming to a line of work which for years has been treated as an afterthought by everyone, even the businesses who rely upon the drivers, and their customers.
“Pay inflation in the sector will soon bring the salary and conditions to where they should have been,” the professor notes. “Which means exciting choices to be made at the checkout for British consumers. Do I buy the food or do I save up for another day?”
And it will apparently get even better for HGV drivers as the months pass.
“Brexit isn’t working, that’s obvious,” Professor Robert agrees. “But we have to embrace it anyway until we have a sufficient supply of politicians ready and willing to kill it. Right now in Brexitannia we’re much like a drunk at a BBQ who can’t light the fire spraying it with petrol, spraying himself with petrol, spraying the space around the BBQ with petrol, before throwing a match at the petrol. Once you’ve gone that far there’s only one way to go. But if you’re a HGV driver who wants to make the big bucks it’s time to make hay.”
But like all, hay is a seasonal product and the seasons change.
“Get the cash now,” the professor advises, “because once the Brexit BBQ fire reaches our faces we won’t be doing too much shopping. There won’t be anything much to shop for.”