NO MATTER HOW FAR NOW MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES : UK Foreign and Commonwealth Secretary Dominic Raab is seeking to repair his irredeemably shattered reputation as a humanitarian today.
But it’s not Afghanistan that is the focus of his bulging brain but the millions of lost EU workers. It’s reported that while at lunch today with “some of the chaps” he overhead background conversation on the challenges facing British industry since the Oven Ready Brexit was signed, sealed and partially delivered.
“He’s in a lather,” an aide to the puzzled politico told LCD Views. “He wants to be seen front and centre leading the search and rescue operation to locate the missing EU workers.”
It’s believed Mr Raab has ordered that “high mountain peaks” and “low, shady valleys” should be the first place to look in case the lost workers went for a hike and got lost. He is drawing on his personal experience as he designs the strategy to rescue them.
“The real winners here will of course be the EU workers who have gone back across the Channel,” the aide says. “They’ll never have to face living under a government staffed by such spectacular idiots as Raab who strip them of rights given them at birth by virtue of shared humanity, and then wonder where they’ve all gone?”
Staff surrounding the struggling Home Secretary are said to be attempting to explain that the phrase he overhead did not mean the EU workers were physically lost, but have been lost to British industry because of Brexit. It’s understood hopes are not high on a breakthrough though as it would involve Raab understanding he’s at fault and he’s not programmed by his designers to process that.