PRIZE TURKEY : The United Kingdom’s last Prime Minister Boris Johnson has something of an unearned reputation for always leaving crucial decisions to past the last minute, normally because of the convoluted nature of his personal life and its drain on his attention.
Happily for Brits already wondering what Christmas 2021 will be like, the Prime Minister is out in front on the issue with a plan to “Save Christmas”.
The plan itself is not just a warmed up reheat of last year’s nonsense, but is truly inspirational and world leading.
“We’re going to save Christmas 2021,” he will tell the nation later today via a video call. “Industry leaders such as the Brexit backing chap who inherited his father’s frozen food business, but not the acumen to understand how it functioned, are saying Christmas is doomed! Well the naysayers won’t have the last laugh! British exceptionalism has gotten us this far, hasn’t it? Where to next? To Christmas and beyond!”
The PM will then outline his plan involving irrelevant references to the classics and some ruffling of his hair.
“Christmas 2021 will happen. Nothing can stop it. Not the expected worsening of the pandemic once schools return, not the fact we can’t actually move what food we have around the country, thanks to Brexit. Not the fact that we may not even have the food to move around even if we have the workforce to move it around, thanks to Brexit. Christmas 2021 will be solved. I mean saved. I have taken personal control of it.”
The details of the PM’s plan are still somewhat sketchy, but there is no shortage of belief.
“I would encourage everyone to have their Christmas early, so there’s sufficient Christmas for December,” the PM will urge. “And we are drawing up plans for a lengthy transition period to occur between the 24th and 25th of December, with the 25th of December 2021 potentially occurring sometime in 2025.”