BREAKING : Vitamins added to UK water supply to combat food shortages

STRONG AND STABLE SHORTAGES : Welcome relief for people today who are bored of staring at the widening gaps in supermarkets across the United Kingdom with remedial action being taken by the Executive.

Clearly one way to deal with the supply side crisis is to reverse the changes to immigration laws that ended Freedom of Movement for good. But that would rob the mighty British public of the amazing victory of no longer being able to easily live, work, study, settle, love and holiday across the entirety of the EU, while stoping the EU27 citizens from coming over here and stealing our classic British summer.

What point a stable food supply when it means that a highly educated Continental can just waltz over here and increase our economic output?

“Obviously Brexit was always going to need a bit of the old Blitz Spirit to make a success of it,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “This is why we spent so much time in 2016 and after pointing out it won’t all be plain sailing as we seize the advantages of Liz Truss pretending to do trade deals. So now we’re into the business end of Brexit.”

And the business end of Brexit means finding ways to alleviate a crisis in food supply.

“We’ve already added compounds to the water supply to make enough people believe Brexit is fantastic,” the source explains. “That’s why a tiny percentage voted to do it in a non-binding opinion poll. But now we need to step up that strategy to keep Brits fed. If you’re water tastes a bit funny after today it’s because the Vegemite shipments Liz Truss has secured from Australia have been added to your water to keep you full of Vitamin B!”

Brexit Britain. Lean. Mean. Hungry. Just the way we like it.

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