LIKE MAGIC : Great relief in the Raab holiday home today after Health Secretary Sajid Javid rode to the rescue over the Afghanistan debacle.
The failed Foreign Secretary’s failings over the foreign policy failure in faraway Afghanistan have not failed to fixate the news cycle focus with fascination on the failures of the failed Foreign Secretary featuring as fully as the failed Foreign Secretary’s famous failings on foreign geography.
“Javid is not the good samaritan he’s being portrayed as by the press,” a fictional aide to Sajid Javid told LCD Views. “He’s attempting to get audience participation in his hospital magic show and Raab keeps taking up all the column inches. It’s incredibly frustrating. How do you entice even more US private health interest in the NHS if you can’t keep the stage?”
Thankfully after quick thinking by the Health Secretary he will now get more of the limelight he craves.
“This is a win win solution for both parties,” the aide continues, “Mr Raab now gets to resume his summer holiday without the media frenzy and Mr Javid gets to display the wares he has for sale. Everyone is happy. When Boris Johnson wakes up later this afternoon to dust off his hangover he’s going to be really thrilled too. Which is a bonus.”
The solution itself was rather obvious and draws on the strengths the new Health Secretary has displayed since taking over from Matt Hancock.
“The decision to turn Dominic Raab into a new NHS hospital by magic was genius,” the aide adds. “Just a wave of the magic wand and hey presto! Raab is now a fully staffed, fully functioning hospital. And not a GP surgery that has been given an additional blood pressure monitor before being announced as a new hospital. Which is Mr Javid’s standard sleight of hand trick.”