SAVE US FROM OURSELVES : GLOBAL BRITAIN is showing itself to be the tour de force of international power we all expected it to be. Everyone is sitting up and taking notice of what we can do when we’re left to our own resources and the results are impressive.
“Weak minded citizens expected Brexit to be a failure,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “As if you can’t just rip yourself root and branch out of a forty year trading relationship without severe consequences. Well what did they know? They didn’t predict the pandemic and how it would allow us to fudge the lines did they? Know it all’s the lot of them. They also didn’t forecast we would delay and delay import controls to avoid food riots. Ha! We’ve outsmarted the remainers at every step of the way. Right from the electoral crime that was committed to deliver the result and on through an entirely useless parliament.”
And while it is right and just that the visionaries of Brexit celebrate their wins, it is slightly disingenuous to completely ignore the steps the EU is going to to keep on good terms with Great Britain.
“We welcome the invasion of Milton Keynes by the EU army,” the source advises. “It just shows you that we didn’t need to worry. We didn’t need to plan or prepare. Once we run out of food the EU will be obliged to assist. Mr Johnson will later today invite the EU army’s engineers to invade also and build a bridge from the carpark of the Tesco concerned right back to Brussels. That way they can just drive in the fresh fruit and veg over the top of the customs controls.”
Global Britain, proving anything is possible if you set your mind to it, and even if you don’t.