THE BUCK STOPS WHERE : The United Mingingdom’s Prime Minister Boris Johnson is said to have entered crunch talks over the price of handing the premiership over to rising Tory star Rishi “Bootstrap” Sunak.
It’s understood the talks over what Mr Johnson wants to pass the coveted prize of British politics over to Mr Sunak have been in preliminary stages for some time with the negotiations so far conducted in writing.
“Boris keeps losing the letters,” a 10 Downing Street insider tells LCD Views. “It’s slowed the negotiations down no end. Rishi is getting impatient and there’s a risk he may walk away from talks altogether if the PM doesn’t cut the pillow talk and get down to business.”
While a straight purchase of what is theoretically an elected post would be the most likely, it is also rumoured that there is a possibility of buying a controlling stake in operations at 10 Downing Street from its current largest shareholder, Rupert Murdoch. Mr Johnson can stay on as the public face of the business, but with little actual involvement in day to day decision making. Clearly that is a tempting proposition for all involved as it means the least change to how the business of government operates currently.”
Critics of the decision by the Prime Minister to sell his post to Mr Sunak have voiced their concerns over the degregation of representative democracy in the U.K. but they’ve been ignored.
“They clearly have not been paying attention to what’s happened to U.K. parliamentary sovereignty since Brexit and the decision to take back control and give it all to Boris and his backers,” the source laughs, “and what will they do to stop the sale? Mr Johnson will legislate for it and his party will pass it into law before the Queen adds her stamp. It’s pretty much a done deal.”
Advocates of the sale are thought to believe that allowing the free market to decide who runs the country is the best way to secure its future.
“Mr Sunak brings a wealth of experience to the business of government and can be guaranteed to keep giving customers of 10 Downing Street what they know and love,” a bland press release states.
“It is our hope that Mr Johnson will decide to stay with 10 Downing Street after the sale and transfer of executive power is concluded to ensure the manufacture of first rate sound bites for public consumption is unaffected. And also to turn up with a mop in public when required, as Mr Sunak doesn’t have the hair for that.”