Get back to the office, says man who has never done an honest day’s work in his life

ALL WORK AND NO PAY: One of the positives to emerge from the pandemic is the realisation that many jobs can be done perfectly well from home. After all, if you do a desk job then it doesn’t really matter where that desk is. 

Therefore, the advice from the top is that everyone should head back to the office. It’s as if mobile phones and the Internet never existed. 

This is par for the course. This is a government that insists that up is down, that white is black (unless it refers to the colour of your skin), and that unicorns gambol merrily in the sunlit uplands. 

The first among unequals, Boris Johnson, is vocal about getting out of bed at some godforsaken hour, in order to put on uncomfortable clothes, and waste an hour or more travelling to an unpleasant office in order to be seen working. This is strange, because Johnson has never really done this himself. 

Even stranger, this announcement comes at a time when any self respecting government minister is not at work. He or she should be sunning himself at the expense of a donor who expects a favour in return. 

Well, someone has to work while the bosses are on their jollies. Otherwise we might all start to enjoy ourselves. 

The Great British Public will feel inspired by this. They will rush straight back to the rush hour, on the word of a gilded chancer who wouldn’t know honest hard work if it slapped him round the face with an oven ready kipper. 

So it’s a massive cheer for being squeezed into overcrowded trains without any obligation to take covid precautions. That’s OK, because we Got Covid Done in the same way as we Got Brexit Done. Yes. 

It’s almost as if the government neither cares nor learns its lessons. 

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