NAVIGATING A CHANGING WORLD : The United Kingdom is set to lead the world on Climate Change by leading by example.
There are many measures that can be taken to combat the changes, but as the negatives will predominately impact on poorer nations and Priti Patel will ensure none of the victims reach our shores, HMG is taking different steps to prepare for the future.
“Yes, there will be some rise in sea levels,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “But that’s mostly from remainer tears, so I wouldn’t worry about that. Patriots will just stiffen their upper lips and get on with it. Floaties on arms, swimming for Britain. We won Brexit and now we’re going to win the changing climate. The same dark forces are behind both. Just look at the hot air output on social media.”
But that is not to say they won’t do anything, alongside banking donations from the fossil fuel industry to spout shite.
“We’re going to see the UK ready for any of the eventualities,” the source continues, “we will be a guiding light for future generations as they bob and bop along on the waves of apathy which will resonate from our present to their future.”
How exactly the UK will be a guiding light is the key question?
“We’re refitting Big Ben. The Elizabeth Tower for pedants. But Big Ben will be changing too. We’re swapping out the bell and installing the most powerful incandescent bulb ever built by man. You’ll be able to navigate your way as you paddle board to and from Sainsburys. Which, by the way, will be on a hovercraft.”