PUBLIC SERVICE BROADCAST : The BBC are no slackers when it comes to Brexit, the causes of Brexit and the consequences of Brexit.
Few who used to listen to the Today programme on Radio 4 can forget stalwart of patriotic investigative broadcasting, John Humphrys, screaming “BUT THE PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED!&£#%” relentlessly at any traitors who dared to query the wisdom of Brexit.
Those halcyon days, when the Great British public spied a new and expanded horizon, are now well behind us. Today we deal with more mundane issues, like trying to stay alive in a profit driven response to a global pandemic, and when will the food run out because of Brexit?
Clearly blaming Brexit and Brexiters for the absolute cluster they’ve made of Great British supply chains won’t help anyone fill a shopping basket. But timely forecasts of where food will be, albeit momentarily, will be of great service.
That is why the BBC are to begin broadcasting their new The Shopping Forecast. The twice daily segment will air in partnership with The Shipping Forecast and it is hoped will also manage the unintended poetry of the weather news for ships.
But it won’t be brave British sea captains who will have a keen ear for The Shopping Forecast. It will be landlubbers like you and me.
“This new service will help the British public navigate the wealth of boundless possibilities delivered by Brexit,” a corporation spokesman told LCD Views. “No more trying to decide if you’ll attempt Tesco, Sainsbury’s, Lidl, Aldi, M&S or all of them each day. The Shopping Forecast will steer you in the right direction so you don’t return home empty handed to empty mouths.”
A sample of the new news feature has been released so you can wet your appetite.
“Sainsbury’s, Milton Keynes, pastas tending to only a breakfast cereal later. Tesco, Ditchlong, one tray of chopped tomatoes only, be quick. Little Harry’s Offie, Mowlton Membrane, surprising supply of milk, expected to sour quicker than usual…”
But it’s not just the information you require to decide where to forage tomorrow, the new feature will also be voiced by a range of celebrities to give it added value.
“Farage mostly. Because without us providing him a platform for his bad faith BS year in and year out it’s likely The Shopping Forecast would never have existed. It’s our way of saying thank you.”