LESS IS MORE : 10 Downing Street is making a strong move today to ease concerns over the collapsing UK food supply chain.
The need for determined action from the Executive comes as a result of no logistic expert ever warning of any possible issues with food supply following his chosen Brexit.
“To be honest Boris Johnson is deeply irritated that all the so called experts never once raised any concerns his form of Brexit could lead to difficulties for UK consumers,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views, “and now he finds himself having to pick up the slack. The entire sector has let him down.”
And there’s a lot of slack to pick up as the food sector appears to be just “too chilled over the growing shortages in British shops.”
It’s said there is particular irritation that the sector doesn’t know its history.
“Mr Johnson is a famous historian,” the Downing Street source continues. “He’s particularly irritated that no one in the supermarket industry seems to be aware of the WW2 Atlantic convoys that fed Britain, or the fact it hasn’t been self reliant on food for centuries. Their ignorance is undermining his Brexit.”
Happily for hungry UK families Mr Johnson has a plan to boost morale until the mess is sorted.
“He’s signing an executive order which will force UK supermarkets to replace those dull cardboard shelf fillers with actual 3D holograms of food. They’ll be so realistic your mouth will water. He believes the moment your child’s hand passes through the hologram of an apple and discovers it’s not real will be a true moment of excitement. Gaping mouths and clapping hands are expected.”
The decision is also a boon to the UK tech industry which will have to rapidly “upscale” its “R&D” into holograms.
“Boris couldn’t be prouder about this tech based remedy if famous mega-genius Dom had thought of it.”