NOT WAVING DROWNING : Important news from Chequers today as the U.K. Prime Minister Spaffer Johnson begins his period of self-isolation in the cramped confines of the country estate.
“He’s just like your average voter,” a source inside the mansion told LCD Views. “When notified that he’d been in contact with a confirmed case, in this case his Health Secretary, he wondered at first if he could flout the rules and carry on like normal? This not being possible he hightailed it out of dodge so he had 1,500 acres to isolate in. This does actually make the public a lot safer.”
But critics have suggested that the mere physical removal of the country’s Prime Minister from central London makes no difference while he’s still in post.
“I mean the guy who took your freedom of movement across an entire continent off you is telling you today is freedom day as the lethal virus rages in the U.K.? As other countries exercise their sovereignty and tell us to stay away? He’s an arch pisstaker, I’ll give him that. Field Marshall Gaslight.”
Clearly the real flaw in the most recent debacle is the public getting to find out the Health Secretary has the virus to begin with.
“It’s a total joke. We’re supposed to be building a fascist autocracy and leaks like this keep happening? There will need to be a full and thorough inquiry to work out how the public keeps learning things that are in the public interest. Like how incompetent the ministers are.”
But there will at least be consistent, strong and stable leadership from the PM while he hides from the consequences of his choices at Chequers.
“Be in no doubt, your Prime Minister will continue to self isolate from personal responsibility during his stay at Chequers. Even when he’s having a lie in.”