SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE: The rules are there to protect everyone, claims Crime Minister Boris “The Virus Man” Johnson. Particularly himself, it seems.
“It’s very simple, folks,” Johnson waffled in a suspiciously pre-recorded statement. “Follow the rules, follow the science, follow the van, don’t dilly dally on the way, build back better, levelling up, erm, erm, yes, no, wiff waff, vaccines!”
Characteristic clarity, we can all agree.
“Rules are there to help us all get through this pandemic,” he continued, gamely attempting to sound grave. “And if I don’t like the rules, then I change them, because freedom is the way to beat the virus. And vaccines. Lots of lovely vaccines. So follow the rules, follow the science, follow… yes, no, erm, I’ve already done that bit, wiff waff, and if I change the rules without telling anyone, then tough. It’s up to you now! Vaccines vaccines vaccines!”
Science is a wonderful thing. It takes all the available evidence and draws reasoned conclusions. Government Science, however, operates in reverse. Government Science takes the desired conclusion and twists the evidence to fit.
The Johnson government excels at Government Science.
Freedom Day is just one example. “Data, not dates,” they crowed sanctimoniously, before fixing a date and ignoring the data.
LCD Views decided to investigate a little deeper, so we spoke to the ubiquitous anonymous Number Ten source.
“Follow the rules, how much clearer can we be?” said the Source irritably.
What are the current rules on, say, wearing a mask in public?
“You should wear a mask if you like,” said the Source. “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to. Simple.”
How does that help public health?
“Public health? What the devil has this got to do with public health?” exclaimed the Source. “It’s about sowing confusion and dodging responsibility. Good day to you.”
You should follow the rules, then. But not if you don’t like the rules. Seems fair.