LOOK UP IN THE SKY : It’s a good thing the legend currently infesting 10 Downing Street isn’t into gesture politics or nothing maybe done to counteract the negative blowback from his idea of politics.
Of course some pain is to be expected as the UK forges a new destiny as a fully sovereign, free trading nation free from the grip of fresh food imported from the Continent. But that doesn’t mean we have to have our eyes downcast!
“We can all look up and feel elated,” a 10 Downing Street source tells LCD Views. “Yes, there is some temporary disruption to the workforce on English farms, but that’s only because of the pandemic and nothing to do with having Priti Patel stand at Heathrow with a stick. Once we’ve let the virus rip and achieved herd immunity by way of discarding unwanted humans you’ll see those seasonal workers flock back in. And not just to immigration detention centres.”
But in the meantime there may need to be one or two measures to keep the Blitz Spirit strong in the population.
“We’ll be organising Spitfire fly pasts. It’s what Mr Johnson does best. He often makes little model Spitfires out of empty wine crates and shambles around the Downing Street flat making plane noises. Not to entertain his offspring you understand, just because he likes it. But he’s also ordering fresh fly pasts over British farms.”
The fly pasts will continue for as long as the food is rotting on the farms.
“So just for the next year or two while we wait for British farmers to throw in the towel and order their food from America.”