BREXIT SMELLS BAD : There’s nothing in modern Britain that can’t be fixed by the liberal application of the Union Flag.
News reports are filling up with the rotten harvest of Brexit as astonished farmers discover Priti Patel’s attempts to dissuade foreigners from coming to the UK has had a surprising affect on seasonal workers.
No one stuffed to the gills with British Exceptionalism expected that. Why wouldn’t people go through hell and high water to visit our plague ridden island, to live in a damp caravan, and work for minimum wage all hours of the day, just to be told to F O before they leave? Absolutely BAFFLING!
But baffled or not the UK Government now has another self inflicted problem on its hands as farmers in England watch, and smell, their harvest rotting.
Clearly the only way to salve those new wounds is with the liberal application of flags. If people see a Union Flag covered field they’ll automatically assume we’re winning just by association with the old Butcher’s Apron.
The flag roll out will begin immediately with open air fields and poly tunnels becoming a much more colourful red, white and blue than the drab greys and sour greens of rotting veg.
Brits concerned about food shortages need not worry about them though, as they’ll soon be here, or you can do your bit to combat climate change and pay a fiver for a courgette flown in from the other side of the world!
Brexit. It stinks. Mostly of compost. Oh, and corruption, and perhaps a fair share of incompetence. They should make it into a fragrance.