SPORT OF KINGS : Tory MPs are up in arms today after they received yet another thrashing at the hands of people they assume are their inferiors.
It’s been a rough run of late for the team at CCHQ United as time after time they’ve come up against a single footballer and been thrashed. Many had said they should have conceded the School Meals Cup to Marcus Rashford and kept their dignity intact, but they were ignored. Repeatedly. The next decision to seek payback in a winner take all contest over anti-racism protests pitted Johnson and his team of donkeys against the entire English football team. The result went against the plucky squad of MPs from Little England, even with a whole squad of hard right gobshite ringers in the media establishment on their side.
There are not yet public rumours of a need to change the management at CCHQ, but that doesn’t mean many aren’t looking at their bluffer in chief and wondering if someone capable of forecasting further than their next alcoholic beverage may be a better strategist?
While the whiteboard is put up and the pens grabbed to form a new strategy undaunted Tory MPs are taking to social media as if they weren’t just thrashed completely yesterday.
“The demand for footballers to keep out of politics and stick to football is an understandable one,” a source inside CCHQ told LCD Views. “We can’t take it anymore. They keep handing us our arses! Who knew they would be so good at politics?”
Other sources are suggesting that if the MPs are so keen to spare their blushes and keep footballers out of the political arena they might try governing the country with an ounce of compassion for those less fortunate? But that is unlikely to be advice that is heeded and more rematches, and more thrashings for the Tories are expected.