SPINNING PLATES FOR BRITAIN : GREAT NEWS from 10 Downing Street today that normality is set to return to life in the United Kingdom with the overnight decision to pick a new fight with Brussels.
Warships are expected to be deployed shortly to somewhere, anywhere really just as soon as it has been decided what fight to start.
“Maybe we’ll just renew one of the old ones,” a 10 Downing Street insider told LCD Views. “Although that’s getting a bit tricky as we’re paying the fishermen and farmers to shut up about the harm Brexit is doing to them. We may have to go with something to do with vaccines, but we made such a fuss over that already and it’s blown up a little in our faces too, now that we’re falling behind. We wanted to accuse them of throttling the supply of pallets to the country, but then our supporters in NI burned all of them. Government is getting harder by the day! Never mind I’m sure Boris and Frosty can think of something over a late champagne breakfast. Just as soon as Carrie wakes Boris up and gives him his bottle.”
What is certain is that the fight will have to ramped up rapidly after the culture war blew up in the government’s face.
“That’s a real act of God that is. We were using the culture war as a cover for our botched, pseudo science based management of the pandemic. All those dead people. All so unnecessary. All so zzzz for the swivel eyed members of the governing party. And the pandemic was cover for Brexit. But we have not hit a dead end. We’ll just go back to our starting position and fight with Brussels again.”
People across the country are expected to lend their support to Boris Johnson and his government.
“Blame Brussels. Bang your head on kitchen cupboard? Brussels! Get caught cheating at cards? Brussels! Just like the PM said years back, most of our problems are of our own making, but we blame Brussels. He knew it then and he knows it now that most of our problems are of his making.”