SWINGS AND ROUNDABOUTS : Alarming reports from the Westminster village today suggest that the UK’s world beating Prime Minister Boris Johnson is going to need a salve for knee burns.
While the notorious Casanova of British politics is allegedly no stranger to leg based injuries while chasing other people’s partners about, today’s injuries are of an entirely different nature.
“It’s fitting really,” one seasoned Westminster watcher commented, “the PM’s refusal to lend support to sportsmen taking one knee as a protest against racism how sees him down on both knees. Who could possibly have foreseen that it would come back to haunt him, as he and the Home Secretary emboldened the worst of the English population.”
Culture war blowback does seem to have been sudden and overwhelming after the English footballers lost the Euro2020 final on Sunday night and racists exploded across social media to attack them.
“It’s not fair really,” the watcher went on, “when all you want to do is loot the state with your mates and people expect you to be a government? And not only that, a government in the 21st century? Poor hand. The culture war was supposed to divide and rule the British people. But it seems turning it onto a young, professional, progressive, mixed ethnicity football team who espouse the best of English qualities has lead to some surprising blowback.”
In the PM’s defence, when he and his chums decided to bully the footballers they were hoping for a series of lewd, narcotic strewn stories to swirl around the team.
“Even that may not have been much help to Mr Johnson, had it occurred. Just look at the scandals surrounding the cabinet.”
We would wish the PM a speedy recovery from his self-inflicted burns, but that would be hypocrisy, and we’re not looking for a place in his government.