NEIL DOESN’T KNEEL FOR ANYONE : GB News has taken the U.K. by storm this week and provided a waiting recipient for left wing pranksters, who appear to have nothing better to do than mock an innocent and patriotic broadcaster funded by offshore backers.
It’s not just the pranksters that are causing the budding station to wilt in bud, it’s also the sound, lighting, presenters, guests and ability to tell the difference between towns in Wales and Birmingham.
“Sponsors are running for the hills too,” an insider tells LCD Views. “The failure of Andrew Neil to secure advertising support from Brillo pads wasn’t seen as too bad because we had Coop, IKEA, Kopparberg and others. But now many of them are pulling out too. This means more offshore cash will have to fill the void, especially in the face of fast plummeting viewing figures.”
It is a puzzle for many how a plan to get all of the UK’s cranks and weird money funded bad actors in one place for a midlife crisis, gobshite festival has not led to immediate commercial success. Additionally that Mr Neil may have achieved his success hitherto not from instinctive genius, but by virtue of having the BBC do most of the work for him.
There is however a light on a very dark horizon.
“We have lost the Open University ads but we are close to securing support with England’s predominate educational institution. I’m talking about none other than the University of Life!”
Let’s hope negotiations are successful and Mr Neil doesn’t have to shuffle back to his patriotic retirement in the south of France.
“Most of the professors of the university already appear regularly so it should be a done deal.”
GB News – the mid-life crisis will be televised. It’s just a little uncertain who will pay for it long term.