BREXIT BENEFITS COME FROM A LAND DOWN UNDER : OMG the Brexiters have done the impossible today and agreed to agree a trade agreement with Australia.
The exciting development maybe a surprise but was of course a forgone conclusion after Liz Truss went there with a Union Flag umbrella. Who could resist the power of those Sydney Harbour visuals? Not the Australians! Especially not Australians with some extra jars of Vegemite and a spare packet of Tim Tams to export to the far side of the world!
“Clearly it’s important no one mentions hormone injected beef as we celebrate this monumental achievement,” a spokesman for the British Prime Minister, Rupert Murdoch, said. “Also don’t talk about the ecological vandalism required to tear up trade with half a billion people a few miles away in favour of trade with half a dozen a world away. This is Global Britain, to question its achievements is unpatriotic.”
To help embed the world beating win Downing Street had enlisted the help of the Royal Mail. They will be producing a special celebratory stamp to mark the agreement to agree to agree an agreement.
“The stamp will list all the benefits to the U.K. of the Aussie FTA,” the spokesman revealed. “It will be the smallest stamp ever produced by any nation on Earth. It is just that significant. And no one can question the value of the projected 0.02% to U.K. GDP over the next 15 to 1,000 years. We’ve had an electron microscope discover it.”
Break out the bunting Global Britons! Brexit may be costing you thousands each per year but you’ll sooner or later get 10p off a jar of Vegemite! Well done cobbers! This ain’t a load of cobblers!