THE POWER OF DUMB : The United Kingdom’s last Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has had a cracking week hosting a select group of world leaders in Cornwall.
“It’s been amazing,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “Mr Johnson met with a selection of leaders of some of the world’s most prominent representative democracies. We’re not sure if he learned anything from them as they’re to a man girly swots, but he had a lot of fun playing on the beach.”
While there were plenty of smiles for the cameras it wasn’t all fun and games.
“It was a little slow if I’m honest,” the source continues, “Boris is used to being invited to rather more rambunctious parties. In Italian hills at villas owned by friendly foreign chaps. What happens at the villa stays at the villa. Still, the biggest guy at the party, Joe, brought his wife along and she got in great with Boris’s current wife. Carrie and Boris only got married recently because some American guy rang up and said about forget the photo shoots with your girlfriend. Mrs Johnson must be present. Which was nice. Gave them the shove they needed to make things official.”
The most fun though was when Mr Johnson had all the others as a captive audience and was able to perform his improv act for them.
“That was a total giggle. All those stuffed shirts having to sit there while Boris just said the first thing that came into his head. Completely Churchillian. Especially the end where he reminded them that just like in WW2 they need us more than we need them!”