DO YOU SPEAK ENGERLISH : LORD Frost DID not GET to WHERE he IS today BY god GIVEN talent ALONE. The EU would do well to recognise this.
“He’s onto them, those wily Europeans,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “He knows they’re spying on him and almost certainly his boss. The fuss they’re making over what LORD Frost has written for the domestic audience over the travesty of the Brexit deal proves it. Who would negotiate such a self-defeating and dangerous agreement? Certainly not an Englishman!”
The discovery of the EU spying on the UK’s Brexit superman did come as a “SHOCK” but not a surprise to seasoned Eurosceptics. Be they mild on that special spectrum or all the way through to foaming at the mouth and completely oblivious of anything EU related functions.
“He’s going to come up with a code to communicate to the GREAT BRITISH PUBLIC that’ll leave the EU floundering. They won’t know what’s coming next. They’ll be outfoxed and in disarray.”
The plan is to begin writing in Olde English.
“They maybe able to read what Frost writes down in modern English due to their underhand attempts to educate their populations in foreign languages, but wait until they’re stumbling about Chaucer’s English. We’ll have the last laugh then. They’ll have no idea what we’re up to with international law when they’re too distracted trying to work out why ‘s’ is now ‘f’!”
But exactly how did the EU gain access to Lord Frost’s writings?
“They’ve been reading our newspapers,” the source says. “Came as a bloody shock to us. We don’t read theirs. Not that many of us could even if we were interested. You just wait until the next completely disingenuous, historically inaccurate bit of propaganda for the domestic audience is published in The Telegraph or The Express in olde English. Old Barnier will be lost for words. We will have them agreeing to abandon the principles of the single market in no time at all.”
Global Britain – if it seems like we’re being run and represented by idiots, it’s because we are.