Priti Patel seen wearing jacket with “Go Home Secretary” label sewn onto it

CLOTHES MAKETH THE FASCIST : STRONG regimes provide stable leadership until they collapse under the weight of their own hate. Happily for Global Britons they are governed by a strong regime.

To signify the might the functionaries of the regime running Brexitannia like a bank transfer service are now sporting eye catching new uniforms. The Prime Minister turned heads yesterday while playing at being an RAF commander, building on the work of his Home Secretary earlier in the week when she took time out of her busy schedule bullying her staff to pose for cameras at an immigration raid. Whether or not the people arrested are found guilty is no reason for one of the most important ministers in the government not to make political hay out of it.

“We’re all very pleased with the uniforms,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “It projects the right image to the voting populace. Don’t question the authority. Bow down before the ones you serve. Matt Hancock is getting fitted out for his paramilitary style jacket too, only his will say ‘CARE’ just to really rub the noses of the NHS in it.”

And reports suggest that Priti Patel is already thinking of an upgrade to her upgraded image.

“She’s having another jacket made as Home Secretary is maybe too weak an image. People might take positive associations from seeing home emblazoned on her. So she’s going to make her intentions clear. So it’s not just EU27 au pairs languishing in jail cells at the border who know what we’re about now, thanks to Brexit.”

The new jacket will have “Go Home Secretary” sewn onto it, so no one can be in any doubt about what Global Briton means.

“The voters will soon be given jackets too, but they’ll be a very rough weave and have ‘Serf’ sewn onto them,” the source adds. “This way when you are doing your national service in the soft fruit fields no one can mistake your place in the exciting world of modern feudalism.”

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