LOVE ME LOVE ME SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME : The UK’s Prime Minister Alexander lots of words Johnson is now firmly established as world beating in many sectors. He’s beaten the country with a pandemic. He’s beaten the rights of ordinary people by removing freedom of movement. He’s beaten the fishing industry. He’s now beating up farming. He’s trashed the sanctity of marriage and the responsibility of the parent to raise children in a secure family environment. He’s beaten the economy. He’s allowed Patel to beat up the ministerial code until it is bloodied and senseless. He’s tortured the idea of language as a means of clear communication. The list is long and it goes on and on. Now he needs a new challenge.
“He’s on a personal mission to see how far he can push the envelope,” a 10 Downing Street source tells LCD Views. “Daily the envelope grows fatter and daily the effort needed to push it more intense. It’s why he is so popular. People can’t believe he’s so magnificent.”
The one drawback appears to be finding new challenges. Finding new ways to screw an entire country over and remain popular. But he’s up to it.
“Thanks to Brexit the UK will now become a technological and innovation superstar. Take that Brussels! We’re now investing billions into a giant magnetic that can drag asteroids out of orbit and fling them wherever we like. It’s very impressive. It’s the next chapter in the story of Boris.”
And where will the first asteroid captured be flung?
“Straight into our own faces. Where else?! Who needs a Manchurian Candidate when you’ve got Boris being Boris.”
The asteroid’s first target will be the Home Counties.
“Probably Kent. Their support for Brexit makes them the best target to see how deep is the love for Boris. How far can he push it to fill the unquenchable need for validation he’s carried since childhood.”