LIFT THE VEIL : Downing Street is in classic bullish mood today and ready to hit back at the churlish EU!
The fighting stance comes after a late night drinking session in which Bollinger was preferred by the Prime Minister and his guests over English sparkling wine. For the event the Prime Minister wore an ensemble that had been left in a Yorkshire hedge for a year. Shoes were supplied by an Italian artisan cobbler and reassuringly the left foot was worn on the right and vice versa.
“The Prime Minister even wore tails for the event. Donkey tails as that was closest to hand in the dressing up box.”
It is rumoured that at one point in the rousing event the tail came lose from the Prime Minister’s outfit and all had a very merry time chasing him around the £2.6m media room in an attempt to pin it back on.
“Carrie eventually got the tail back on the old boy by laying a trap involving a vintage Playboy. We can’t disclose further details.”
But it wasn’t all matters of state and fizz, there was time for the usual party games.
“It was sometime around 2am that Lord Frost asked if they could play ‘What are we blaming on the EU today!’, which is a favoured part of any gathering at 10 Downing Street.”
Initially it was thought that blaming the spread of the Indian Variant to Yorkshire on Brussels would be a hoot. Although some were said to favour hanging the blame for the 14th century Black Death plagues on Macron.
“It was finally decided to take inspiration from Lord Frost’s commanding appearance before that boring select committee of meddling villeins yesterday and blame the EU for hiding the benefits of Brexit from the U.K.”
This is thought to make perfect sense as “the EU27 are the only ones enjoying any visible Brexit benefits. Which just goes to show the depths to which they will sink to undermine the swill of the British people.”