LET IT GO LET IT GO : Downing Street have reacted swiftly today to news of rising caseloads of a dangerous new variant even while the roadmap to freedom is driven along without a backward, forward or sideways glance by the executive.
”We had a meeting over a late champagne breakfast involving the Prime Minister and some guys from a dark money funded think tank who think herd immunity is still the go to position and decided to take affirmative action,” an unreliable 10 Downing Street source tells LCD Views.
Clearly there is no turning back as the road to freedom is driven in a vehicle that is yet to have a reverse gear installed. Happily the local and mayoral elections showed there is a considerable appetite in the national electorate for avoidable deaths. Even if they’re mountainous. So long as people keep getting vaccinated in the demographics most likely to favour the Conservatives.
“Clearly we can’t close the pubs again. Johnson had to mute Tim Martin’s phone number as it is. But it’s also clear that anyone paying attention maybe feeling a certain uneasy sense of déjà vu. We can not ignore that. We must do something about it.”
The actual action plan is many pronged. Something for which we can all be grateful.
“Firstly the Prime Minister’s hair is going to get increasingly outrageous. Like so mad you won’t be able to focus on the boring charts and graphs that litter woke twitter. That will help. And next we’re all going to be very careful about the language we use and the feelings we feel.”
How so specifically?
“It’s simple we’re going to pass a law today banning you from feeling déjà vu. It could not be simpler.”
Any talk of pursuing an elimination strategy?
“Don’t be daft! That would take a basic grasp of the link between the health of a population and the economy. Oh and empathy.”