CHASE YOU TO THE GRAVE AND BEYOND : These days many people seem to think former Prime Minister David Cameron is a slacker who spends his days just chillaxing and texting his old work colleagues. This is not the case!
Clearly the halcyon days are past for Britain’s greatest living Prime Minister, between the years 2010 – 2015. Indeed, the saying all political careers end in failure is wonderfully epitomised by the architect of austerity. The statesman who called Brexit on, and then ran away. Job done. Now he is building on that blazing end in a way no one just sitting about with “their trotters up” could hope to achieve.
“He’s taken a job with Virgin Media,” a source inside Team Dave tells LCD Views. We have taken no steps to authenticate any of this. In fact we have just make it all up as we go along with very little thought. Much like Dave’s day to day work as PM. It feels a fitting tribute.
The exact job appears to be in the thorny thickets of customer relations.
“It’s a tough gig attempting to convince people to stay on your side. To continue to invest in something they now no longer want to pay into. After seeing the dogged determination that Mr Cameron displayed when trying to get Sunak to bail Greensill out we just had to have him on the team. He may not convince anyone to do what he wants, but boy, will he have the bit between his teeth when he tries. Especially if there’s a little something in it for him. A bonus of some kind. He’s our guy.”
Dave is expected to start work immediately, working from home form his shed. So if you’re thinking of changing internet supplier you may find Dave texting you so frequently you’ll consider taking out a restraining order. If he does well in customer retention he maybe given his own sales portfolio. Watch out Rishi! Dave has a streaming service for you!