IT’S GOOD TO BE THE KING : Boris Johnson is to do every undecided voter in his country a massive favour this week by solving the dilemma for them forever.
In what is being viewed as a natural extension of the ideology driving Brexit the PM is to make a few obvious moves forward in The Queen’s Speech.
“Obviously requiring voters to have a British fish under their arm when they arrive at the polling station will boost the booming fishing industry,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “So too photo proof of membership of your local Conservative Party. That not only gives you the right to vote but gives you two extra votes. This proves the PM rewards loyalty.”
But the other big change is the one regarding how the office of prime minister itself is to be viewed going forward.
“He signalled the direction of travel with the lavish wallpaper. Now he’s making it clear how he will govern.”
Clear in the sense of a new bill which has been called ‘The Divine Right to Rule’. The legislation is only a few lines long but makes it clear that Mr Johnson will now govern legally as absolute monarch. And God approves.
“It’ll take a weight off the old Queen’s mind too. Any questions about residual power in the monarchy and how it should be used will be settled forever.”
But critics of the move say it speaks of overreach.
“Surely the PM should produce papers proving his lineage goes back to Alfred the Great first? He could just make it up. The newspapers will sell it as truth for him. Just ask the good people of Hartlepool! A lot of them clearly believe anything.”
It’s unlikely Mr Johnson will bother with dodgy paperwork as the time to become the King of not only England, but Scotland, is now.
“That’s so he can be the last one.”