ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL AND IN THE DARKNESS BIND THEM : The UK’s outgoing Prime Minister Boris Johnson has given what may prove to be one of his last executive orders.
The diktat focuses on his former advisor Dominic Cummings and is aimed at leaving a fitting tribute to the super-genius-super-forecaster.
“Mr Johnson has ordered a statue of Dom installed at Traitor’s Gate,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “He’s designed it himself, with just a little bit of help from Carrie.”
The decision to place the statue at Traitor’s Gate, Tower of London, is not thought in anyway to be a subtle message as to the PM’s current feelings towards a man he famously had a long running public bromance with.
“It’s just because the location is so prominent. He wanted to install the statue next to Winston Churchill, but Priti Patel was too busy jamming the area with police and the workmen couldn’t get through. So the Tower was the next obvious location of choice.”
An unveiling ceremony is due to take place later today but we have seen advance images of the statue and can confirm that it is incredibly lifelike. If you were to chance upon it you would think you were in the presence of the man himself.
“Mr Johnson is going to cut the ribbon at the ceremony later today personally,” the source confirms. “After which he intends to smash an entire crate of Bollinger against it to signify the depths of his admiration for all of Dom’s achievements.”
What Mr Cummings thinks of the statue isn’t yet known, although presumably we will soon be able to read about it in a 2011 blog.
“There really should be a statue of Mr Johnson standing alongside it,” the source adds. “For every world beating thing they did for the country they did together.”