Victory was attained by a United Kingdom against fascism in Europe on the 8th May 1945, 20th July 1966, and most recently the 31st January 2020 when Mr Johnson wisely “Got Brexit Done” so he could focus all his energies on his relationship.
It has been a rollercoaster ride of national renewal since that date. The Union Flag now spontaneously appears before national buildings and in the living rooms of the pious, as if taking inspiration from the Mother of God herself.
The leading lights of Mr Johnson’s cabinet have daily showered themselves in gold. No less a superpower than Matt Hancock has produced a ‘Care’ badge for the NHS. Liz Truss has travelled the world in classic British defiance of the pandemic, while lesser mortals cowered at home. Mr Jenrick has overseen a housing boom and Mr Johnson himself has timed lockdowns to perfection.
Where to next you ask?
We have the answer.
It’s time to really put a finger in the stodgy eye of Brussels. It’s time to bring back the great British pint! For while we have nothing but praise for the strong and stable leadership of Mr Johnson and his handpicked crew of Ukippers, there is just this one little strand of Brussels red tape that casts its shadow still across our green and pleasant land.
We at UnoTesticular/The Facilitator call on the Prime Minister to immediately repeal the law from Brussels that outlawed serving beer, ale and ciders in pints. Let’s see how they like that! A taste of the power of a fully sovereign, trading nation right on their doorstep. We say no more beer served in volumes of 568.261ml. We demand our pints!
You can be guaranteed the French won’t take it on the chin. Berlin will go into a spin. The Spanish will beg for relief and the Italians will be dumbfounded.
The Prime Minister should go a step further too with his legislation and make it illegal to drink wine in anything but pint glasses from now on. The ‘woke’ will hate it, and that’s reason enough on its alone.
Bring back the British pint! It’s one of the many Brexit benefits that the great British people (in their collective wisdom) voted for!
Once we have our pints back we can then take the next step to shed all of the hangover of EU membership and return to driving on the left hand side of the road.